Author Topic: Funnies/Jokes  (Read 662922 times)

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Rosco400

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Re: Funnies/Jokes
« Reply #405 on: June 03, 2009, 05:20:55 pm »

Q. How do you make a blonde's eyes twinkle?
A. Shine a flashlight in their ear.

Q. What does a screen door and a blonde have in common?
A. The more you bang it the looser it gets.

Q. What do blonds and spaghetti have in common?
A. They both wriggle when you eat them.

Q. Why was the blondes' belly button sore ?
A. Because her boyfriend was blonde too.

Q.  Why'd the blonde get fired from the M&M factory?
A.  She kept throwing out all the W's.

Q.  How do blond brain cells die?
A.  Alone.

Q.    Five blondes are facing execution, a rocket scientist, a historian, a bimbo, and a mathematician.  They are each hit with one bullet but, only one bleeds, which one?     
A.    The bimbo, you have to be real to bleed.

Q. How do you get a blond out of a tree?
A. Wave

Q. What do peroxide blonds and black men have in common?
A. They both have black roots.

Q. What does a blonde owl say?
A. What, what?

Q. Did you hear about the blonde couple that were found frozen to death in their car at a drive-in movie theater?
A. They went to see "Closed for the Winter".

Q. What is the definition of the perfect woman?
A. A deaf and dumb blonde nymphomaniac whose father owns a pub.

Q. Why is a blonde like an old washing machine?
A. They both drip when they're forked.

Q. How would a blond punctuate the following?. "Fun fun fun worry worry worry"
A. Fun period fun period fun NO PERIOD worry worry worry!

Q. Why is the blonde's brain the size of a pea in the morning?
A. It swells at night.

Q. A blonde is walking down the street with a pig under her arm. She passes a person who asks "Where did you get that?"
A. The pig says, "I won her in a raffle!"

 
Q. How do you get 4 Gay blokes on a chair.

A. Turn it upside down

Q. How do you know when its bedtime at Michael Jacksons House

A. When the little hand touches the big hand







« Last Edit: June 03, 2009, 05:51:50 pm by Rosco400 »

Offline VMX247

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Re: Funnies/Jokes
« Reply #406 on: June 03, 2009, 05:30:07 pm »
Geez ..........there is some sick jokes out there  ;)   :D   ;D  :D
cheers
Thank f,,,,  I'm not a blond or a redhead  ;D
« Last Edit: June 03, 2009, 05:52:20 pm by VMX247 »
Best is in the West !!

Offline jackiemac

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Re: Funnies/Jokes
« Reply #407 on: June 03, 2009, 07:45:41 pm »


How can you tell if your sister has slept with an elephant?

When she sits on a bar stool and slides down. ??? ;D :D ;D :D

Keep Smiling :)
Jackie Mac
Be kind to your neighbour!!

Offline shorelinemc

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Re: Funnies/Jokes
« Reply #408 on: June 04, 2009, 10:19:36 am »
WHAT DO YOU CALL4 BLONDES IN A ROW? A WIND TUNNEL
WHAT DO BLONDES USE FOR PROTECTION DURING SEX ? A CAR

Offline matcho mick

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Re: Funnies/Jokes
« Reply #409 on: June 04, 2009, 12:06:16 pm »
a blonde walks into a bar
theres a guy sitting there watching  the news on the big screen
it's breaking news!,theres a "jumper"
$5 says he jumps,said the guy to the blonde
$10 says he dosen't ,said the blonde
the guy jumps!!
bugger says the blonde
guys says nah,can't take your money,saw it on ealier news break!
blonde says,so did i!!,but i didn't think he'd jump twice!!
work,the curse of the racing class!!
if a hammer dosn't fix it,you have a electrical problem!!

Offline jackiemac

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Re: Funnies/Jokes
« Reply #410 on: June 04, 2009, 02:58:33 pm »
Geez ..........there is some sick jokes out there  ;)   :D   ;D  :D
cheers
Thank f,,,,  I'm not a blond or a redhead  ;D

I second that ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

Keep Smling :)
Jackie Mac
Be kind to your neighbour!!

mx250

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Re: Funnies/Jokes
« Reply #411 on: June 04, 2009, 03:14:30 pm »

Rosco400

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Re: Funnies/Jokes
« Reply #412 on: June 04, 2009, 03:39:56 pm »
Q: What do you call a Mexican with a rubber toe?

A: Roberto.



Little Johnny comes home one day and says, "Mom! Little Mark next door has a penis like a peanut!"

"What do you mean, Johnny? Is it shaped like a peanut?"

"No," says Johnny. "It's salty."



Q: What has an old lady got between her breasts that a young one doesn't?

A: Her belly button.

mx250

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Re: Funnies/Jokes
« Reply #413 on: June 04, 2009, 05:00:27 pm »
For real or photoshopped? ;D

I think the woman in front thinks it's a 'Minties' moment.


Offline shorelinemc

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Re: Funnies/Jokes
« Reply #414 on: June 04, 2009, 05:09:52 pm »
Abloke walks into a bar and orders a beer and sculls it down ,then orders another and down again. the barman notices this and says whats up? the bloke says i ahve just had my first headjob~. the barman says here a scotch is better than a beer.the bloke says good ,will tthat get the taste out?

Offline matcho mick

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Re: Funnies/Jokes
« Reply #415 on: June 04, 2009, 11:05:00 pm »
AN asian woman goes into her local NAB branch & begins exchanging her money
after the transaction is complete,she asks the teller,"Why it change?,yesterday i get two hunat dolla
for  my money,today i only get one hunat eighty?
the teller looks over his glasses,& says very slowly,"fluctuations"
the asian women narrows her eyes & says,"fluck you aussies too!!"
work,the curse of the racing class!!
if a hammer dosn't fix it,you have a electrical problem!!

Offline VMX247

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Re: Funnies/Jokes
« Reply #416 on: June 04, 2009, 11:42:49 pm »
Thanks MX250 ,that was a nice/different change  ;D
Things companies do for kicks  :o
cheers
Best is in the West !!

Quicksilver

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Re: Funnies/Jokes
« Reply #417 on: June 05, 2009, 01:05:59 pm »
 Little Susie goes home from school and tells her mum that the boys keep
 asking her to do cartwheels because she's very good at them ?

 Mum said . YOU should say "no" - they only want to look at your knickers

 Susie said I know they do "that's why I hide them in my bag"!!

mx250

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Re: Funnies/Jokes
« Reply #418 on: June 09, 2009, 09:11:33 am »
Welcome to parenthood!!!!  ;) ;D


Offline VMX247

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Re: Funnies/Jokes
« Reply #419 on: June 10, 2009, 08:21:50 am »
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Best is in the West !!