Author Topic: Funnies/Jokes  (Read 662773 times)

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090

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Re: Funnies/Jokes
« Reply #1155 on: March 14, 2011, 10:37:34 pm »
I saw that..... ;D...what a homo.... ;D
You can talk. There seems to be a lot of man love going on with your signature there...homo :-*

Offline Davey Crocket

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Re: Funnies/Jokes
« Reply #1156 on: March 14, 2011, 10:40:03 pm »
 ;D ;D ;D
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Offline jackiemac

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Re: Funnies/Jokes
« Reply #1157 on: March 14, 2011, 11:17:31 pm »

Hey, you know what's funny? Watching Jackie Mac doing the starts yesterday :D :D

Hey I resemble that remark :D ;D
Be kind to your neighbour!!

Offline FAT-TOY

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Re: Funnies/Jokes
« Reply #1158 on: March 15, 2011, 09:17:11 am »
Mike was going to be married to Karen
so his Father sat him down for a little chat.

He said, 'Mike, let me tell you something.
On my wedding night in our honeymoon suite, I took off my pants, handed them to your Mother, and said, 'Here, try these on.''

She did and said, 'These are too big.
I can't wear them.'

I replied, 'Exactly.. I wear the pants in this family and I always will.'

Ever since that night, we have
never had any problems.

'Hmmm,' said Mike. He thought that might be a good thing to try.

On his honeymoon, Mike took off his pants and said to Karen, 'Here, try these on..!


She tried them on and said, 'These are too large. They don't fit me.'

Mike said, 'Exactly. I wear the pants in this family and I always will.
I don't want you to ever forget that.'

Then Karen took off her panties and handed them to Mike.She said, 'Here, you try on mine !


Mike did and said,
'I can't get into your panties.'

Karen said, 'Exactly.
And if you don't change your smart-ass attitude, you never will.'
Everyday I find one more name to add to the list of people who piss me off.

mainline

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Re: Funnies/Jokes
« Reply #1159 on: March 15, 2011, 10:23:11 pm »
Hey, you know what's funny? Watching Jackie Mac doing the starts yesterday :D :D

Are you talking about when she was standing there calmly listening to her ipod and tapping her foot, while everyone in the pits was yelling at her to take the elastic strap down from across the main straight ;D

090

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Re: Funnies/Jokes
« Reply #1160 on: March 15, 2011, 10:39:25 pm »
Hey, you know what's funny? Watching Jackie Mac doing the starts yesterday :D :D

Are you talking about when she was standing there calmly listening to her ipod and tapping her foot, while everyone in the pits was yelling at her to take the elastic strap down from across the main straight ;D
For one yeah. And when she unhooked the rubber band and it made her run and she started tripping for another. Then she did it again...and again... :D

Offline jackiemac

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Re: Funnies/Jokes
« Reply #1161 on: March 15, 2011, 10:59:08 pm »
In my defence gentleman, that was no rubber band, it was a bloody bungie cord :D ;D
Be kind to your neighbour!!

Offline Davey Crocket

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Re: Funnies/Jokes
« Reply #1162 on: March 15, 2011, 11:04:06 pm »
And she wasnt even pissed..... ;D...."the Jackie walk".....I wonder if it will catch on? ;D
QVMX.....Australia's #1 VMX club......leading the way.

Offline matcho mick

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Re: Funnies/Jokes
« Reply #1163 on: March 16, 2011, 01:04:30 am »

> A tough looking group of bikers were riding when they saw a girl about
> to jump off a bridge so they stop.
> The leader, a big burly man, gets off his bike and says, "What are you
> doing?"
> "I'm going to commit a suicide," she says.
> While he did not want to appear insensitive, he didn't want to miss an
> opportunity he asked "Well, before you jump, why don't you give me a
> Kiss?"
> So, she does and it was a long, deep lingering kiss.
> After she's finished, the biker says, "Wow! That was the best Kiss I
> have ever had. That's a real talent you are wasting. You could be famous
>
> Why are you committing suicide?"
> "My parents don't like me dressing up like a girl......"
>
>
>
>
>
work,the curse of the racing class!!
if a hammer dosn't fix it,you have a electrical problem!!

mx250

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Re: Funnies/Jokes
« Reply #1164 on: March 16, 2011, 06:27:58 am »


Didn't see that coming  :D.

Offline lukeb1961

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Re: Funnies/Jokes
« Reply #1165 on: March 16, 2011, 10:28:46 pm »
I recently opened a cafe in Japan, business started off a bit shaky, but customers are starting to drift in.

Curly3

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Re: Funnies/Jokes
« Reply #1166 on: March 16, 2011, 10:34:51 pm »
You cleaned that one up a bit Mick.

Offline matcho mick

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Re: Funnies/Jokes
« Reply #1167 on: March 16, 2011, 10:56:38 pm »
 ;D
work,the curse of the racing class!!
if a hammer dosn't fix it,you have a electrical problem!!

Offline matcho mick

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Re: Funnies/Jokes
« Reply #1168 on: March 17, 2011, 12:28:56 am »
 


 

 


 

 

Arthur is 81 years old.  He's played golf every day since his retirement

16 years ago.

One day he arrives home looking downcast.

"That's it" he tells his wife "I'm giving up golf. My eyesight has got so bad.

Once I've hit the ball I can't see where it went."  His wife sympathizes.

As they sit down, she makes a suggestion: "Why don't you take my brother

 with you and give it one more try."   

"That's no good" sighs Arthur. "Your brother is 93 years old. He can't help."


"He may be a ninety three" says the wife "but his eyesight is perfect."

So the next day, Arthur heads off to the golf course with his brother-in-law.
He tees up, takes an almighty swing and squints down the fairway.

He turns to the brother-in-law. "Did you see the ball?"


"Of course I did!" says the brother-in-law. "I have perfect eyesight."


"Where did it go?" asks Arthur.

"Can't remember."

 

 
 
work,the curse of the racing class!!
if a hammer dosn't fix it,you have a electrical problem!!

Offline GD66

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Re: Funnies/Jokes
« Reply #1169 on: March 17, 2011, 01:57:53 am »
   :D   Gold !!    :D
Nostalgia's not what it used to be....