Author Topic: Funnies/Jokes  (Read 662634 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

mx250

  • Guest
Re: Funnies/Jokes
« Reply #1065 on: January 30, 2011, 09:08:56 pm »
Dear Santa,
       Please tell me how you managed to stop at just three Ho's.
                                                          Sincerely, Tiger Woods

090

  • Guest
Re: Funnies/Jokes
« Reply #1066 on: January 30, 2011, 09:13:28 pm »
  Did you hear about the fat, alcoholic transvestite – all he wanted to do was eat, drink and be Mary!!




Offline jackiemac

  • A-Grade
  • ****
  • Posts: 485
    • View Profile
Re: Funnies/Jokes
« Reply #1067 on: January 30, 2011, 09:26:06 pm »
:D ;D :D ;D :D ;D :D ;D :D ;D :D :'( :D ;D :D ;D :D ;D :D ;D :D ;D :D ;D :'(  :D ;D :D ;D :D
Be kind to your neighbour!!

Offline SLAWESY

  • B-Grade
  • ***
  • Posts: 264
    • View Profile
Re: Funnies/Jokes
« Reply #1068 on: January 30, 2011, 09:28:31 pm »
Quote
  Did you hear about the fat, alcoholic transvestite – all he wanted to do was eat, drink and be Mary!!


Brad you should have your own prime time show!!
YZ125E, RM250T

Quote
Is it way too small? A bit of work with the heat gun or hot water could soften it enough to fit if it's close. Maybe some rubber friendly grease as well.
Mainline "classic"

090

  • Guest
Re: Funnies/Jokes
« Reply #1069 on: January 30, 2011, 09:41:43 pm »
A tight dress is like a barbed wire fence.
It protects the premises with out restricting the view.

Marriage is like getting into a hot bath tub. After a while it aint so hot.

I was walking down the road when I saw my Arab neighbor Abdul standing on his fifth floor apartment balcony shaking a carpet.
I shouted up to him " What's wrong Abdul? Won't it start?

Sex is the price women pay for marriage.
Marriage is the price men pay for sex!

mx250

  • Guest
Re: Funnies/Jokes
« Reply #1070 on: January 30, 2011, 10:10:09 pm »
Sex is the price women pay for marriage.
Marriage is the price men pay for sex!
;) ;D

Offline Mike52

  • Legend
  • *****
  • Posts: 1834
  • 81 KTM 125 LC
    • View Profile
Re: Funnies/Jokes
« Reply #1071 on: January 31, 2011, 09:28:07 pm »
Englishman Scottsman and an Irishman were discussing closing time in their respective pubs.

Englishman says" at closing time we all drink up and go home"

Scottsman says " at closing time we put a beer on the bar and we all fight to see who drinks it"

Irishman says" Your pubs are shyte, in an Irish pub you pay for the first drink then you get shouted drinks all night long then
at closing time they take you up stairs and you get laid."

The Englishman say,s " what a load of tripe paddy, has this ever happened to you?"




The Irishman replies " no but it happened to my sister"
85/400WR,86/240WR,72/DKW125,Pe250c,TC90,TS100,XT250,86/SRX250,XR400r
Friend  struggling up a hill on a old bike at MTMee .http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cjj6E2MP9xU.

Offline matcho mick

  • Legend
  • *****
  • Posts: 2279
    • View Profile
    • Moto Tumbi
work,the curse of the racing class!!
if a hammer dosn't fix it,you have a electrical problem!!

090

  • Guest
Re: Funnies/Jokes
« Reply #1073 on: February 01, 2011, 09:46:25 pm »
A Muslim was sitting next to Paddy on a plane.   Paddy ordered a whiskey.

The stewardess asked the Muslim if he'd like a drink.


He replied in disgust  "I'd rather be raped by a dozen whores than let liquor touch my lips!"


Paddy handed his drink back and said  "Me too, I didn't know we had a choice!"

Don't mind this one either....


Mick and Paddy are reading head stones at a nearby cemetery.

Mick say "Crikey!  There's a bloke here who was 152!"


Paddy says "What's his name ?"


Mick replies "Miles,  from London !"
« Last Edit: February 01, 2011, 09:51:46 pm by 090 »

Offline EML

  • Legend
  • *****
  • Posts: 3110
  • Ride the World before it Rides You
    • View Profile
Re: Funnies/Jokes
« Reply #1074 on: February 02, 2011, 08:09:43 am »
Brad, where do you get this shit!!! :D :D :D

Offline FAT-TOY

  • Legend
  • *****
  • Posts: 708
    • View Profile
Re: Funnies/Jokes
« Reply #1075 on: February 02, 2011, 04:41:23 pm »
My Wifes Diary:

Tonight, I thought my husband was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a nice restaurant for dinner. I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment on it. Conversation wasn't flowing, so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk. He agreed, but he didn't say much. I asked him what was wrong; He said, 'Nothing.' I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset. He said he wasn't upset, that it had nothing to do with me, and not to worry about it. On the way home, I told him that I loved him. He smiled slightly, and kept driving. I can't explain his behavior I don't know why he didn't say, 'I love you, too.' When we got home, I felt as if I had lost him completely, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore. He just sat there quietly, and watched TV. He continued to seem distant and absent. Finally, with silence all around us, I decided to go to bed. About 15 minutes later, he came to bed. To my surprise, he responded to my caress, and we made love. But I still felt that he was distracted, and his thoughts were somewhere else. He fell asleep - I cried. I don't know what to do. I'm almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else. My life is a disaster.


My Diary:

  Parts from the U.S. still haven't turned up yet, and I cant get the bloody Husky to start, can't figure out why , got a root though .






Everyday I find one more name to add to the list of people who piss me off.

090

  • Guest
Re: Funnies/Jokes
« Reply #1076 on: February 02, 2011, 08:12:26 pm »
Brad, where do you get this shit!!! :D :D :D
Other forum members mainly  :D

Curly3

  • Guest
Re: Funnies/Jokes
« Reply #1077 on: February 02, 2011, 08:58:17 pm »
Good one Fat, I think we can all relate to that.
We are so misunderstood.

Offline GD66

  • Legend
  • *****
  • Posts: 1109
    • View Profile
Re: Funnies/Jokes
« Reply #1078 on: February 02, 2011, 10:09:12 pm »
Brad, where do you get this shit!!! :D :D :D
Other forum members mainly  :D



Exhumed from the crypt, more like.... ;)....and a few old favourites from the mcnews.com giggle file...


Keep 'em coming, son... ;D
Nostalgia's not what it used to be....

mx250

  • Guest
Re: Funnies/Jokes
« Reply #1079 on: February 02, 2011, 10:46:14 pm »
Dear Fox News,
        So far, no news about foxes.
                                    Sincerely, Unimpressed