Funnies/Jokes

[Nathan S]

Got a Chev badge on your Holden?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MkeMvvm5sGA

[mx250]

Got a Chev badge on your Holden?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MkeMvvm5sGA

My daughter was asking me about Chevy badgers on Holdens the other day: I don't think I'll refer her to this vid to further her education .

[mx250]

That didn't end well did it?

[monaro308]

My closet gay friend drowned while he was on holiday in Egypt and no one can find him.

I think hes in denial.

 

[mx250]

A summary of the Battle of the Sexes  .

[mx250]

Choose your number plate carefully



(Truth or PaintShop )

[Hoony]

A good citizen

 

Yesterday morning, I saw a radical Muslim, ranting on about Western Aggression in the peace loving Islamic paradise of Afghanistan.

 

He was standing on a jetty in Sydney Harbour.

He got so excited he lost his footing and fell in and could not swim.

Being a responsible citizen, I notified the emergency services.

By noon today, they still hadn't arrived.

I'm beginning to think, I've wasted a forking stamp!

[mx250]

Redundant sign  .

(Not photoshopped; Britain today

Ah, Australia, one day hot and humid, the next day perfect  .

[DOK]

   
 

 
Ken and Edna 






Ken and his wife Edna went to the state fair every year,

And every year  Ken would say,

' Edna , I'd like to ride in that helicopter'

Edna always replied, 'I know Ken , but that helicopter ride is fifty bucks, and fifty bucks is fifty bucks'       

One year  Ken and Edna went to the fair, and  Ken said, ' Edna , I'm 75 years old.

If I don't ride that helicopter, I might never get another chance'

To this, Edna replied, "Ken that helicopter ride is fifty bucks, and fifty bucks is fifty bucks'

The pilot overheard the couple and said,

'Folks I'll make you a deal. I'll take the both of you for a ride. 
If you can stay quiet for the entire ride and don't say a word I won't
charge you a penny!

But if you say one word it's fifty dollars.'

Ken  and Edna agreed and up they went.

The pilot did all kinds of fancy manoeuvres, but not a word was heard.

He did his daredevil tricks over and over again,

But still not a word...

When they landed, the pilot turned to  Ken and said,

'By golly, I did everything I could to get you to yell out, but you didn't.
I'm impressed!'

Ken  replied, 'Well, to tell you the truth, I almost said something when Edna fell out,

But you know..................

"Fifty bucks is fifty bucks!'
 

 

 


 

[firko]

Will Rogers, who died in a 1935 plane crash with his best friend, Wylie Post, was probably the greatest political sage this country ever has known.

Enjoy the following:

1. Never slap a man who's chewing tobacco.

2. Never kick a cow chip on a hot day.
3.. There are two theories to arguing with a woman .. . Neither works.

4. Never miss a good chance to shut up.

5. Always drink upstream from the herd.

6. If you find yourself in a hole, stop digging.

7. ?The quickest way to double your money is to fold it and put it back into your pocket.

8. There are three kinds of men: The ones that learn by reading. The few who learn by observation. The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence and find out for themselves.

9. Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.

10.. If you're riding' ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it's still there.

11. Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier'n puttin' it back.

12. After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him. The moral: When you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut.

ABOUT GROWING OLDER...

First ~ Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.

Second ~ The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.

Third ~ Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me; I want people to know 'why' I look this way. I've traveled a long way, and some of the roads weren't paved.

Fourth ~ When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of Algebra.

Fifth ~ You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks.

Sixth ~ I don't know how I got over the hill without getting to the top.

Seventh ~ One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it is such a nice change from being young.

Eighth ~ One must wait until evening to see how splendid the day has been.

Ninth ~ Being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.

Tenth ~ Long ago, when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today it's called golf.

And, finally ~ If you don't learn to laugh at trouble, you won't have anything to laugh at when you are old.

 

[mx250]

Thanks Firko, there's some classics there .

How about;

"First ~ Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it."

or

"Fourth ~ When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of Algebra. "



Maybe we should do the VMX equivalents. 
 

[mx250]

[mainline]

Baywatch vid

http://www.youtube.com:80/watch?v=eYb3aQjWp78

[EML]

That's a ripper classic Mainline. The boys have done well.

[VMX247]

Baywatch vid
http://www.youtube.com:80/watch?v=eYb3aQjWp78

Fantastic,,execellent- send some this way   
cheers A

 and some extreme fittness
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BFWf60ln8II&feature=player_embedded