Author Topic: Funnies/Jokes  (Read 662485 times)

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Offline matcho mick

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Re: Funnies/Jokes
« Reply #1320 on: July 08, 2011, 10:50:51 pm »
work,the curse of the racing class!!
if a hammer dosn't fix it,you have a electrical problem!!

Offline YZ250H

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Re: Funnies/Jokes
« Reply #1321 on: July 11, 2011, 10:50:01 am »
 :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o ;D
Looking for YZ250C parts NOS if possible

"My inability to use emoticins in the right context is really getting me down :)
The only triple jumps he would have been doing are the hop, skip & jump.

Offline VMX247

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Re: Funnies/Jokes
« Reply #1322 on: July 14, 2011, 05:43:43 pm »
Irish Furniture Dealer.
Murphy, a furniture dealer from Dublin, decided to expand the line of furniture in his store, so he travels to Paris to see what he could find.

After arriving in Paris, he visited some manufacturers and selected a line that he thought would sell well back home. To celebrate the new acquisition, he decided to visit a small bistro and have a glass of wine.
As he sat enjoying his wine, he noticed that the small place was quite crowded, and that the other chair at his table was the only vacant seat in the house.

Before long, a very beautiful young Parisian girl came to his table; asked him something in French (which Murphy couldn't understand); so he motioned to the vacant chair and invited her to sit down. He tried to speak to her in English, but she did not speak English. After a couple of minutes of trying to communicate with her, he took a napkin and drew a picture of a wine glass and showed it to her. She nodded, so he ordered a glass of wine for her.

After sitting together at the table for a while, he took another napkin, and drew a picture of a plate with food on it, and she nodded.
They left the bistro and found a quiet cafe that featured a small group playing romantic music. They ordered dinner, after which he took another napkin and drew a picture of a couple dancing. She nodded, and they got up to dance. They danced until the cafe closed and the band was packing up.

Back at their table, the young lady took a napkin and drew a picture of a four-poster bed.

To this day, Murphy has no idea how she figured out that he was in the furniture business.

Best is in the West !!

mx250

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Re: Funnies/Jokes
« Reply #1323 on: July 14, 2011, 05:46:59 pm »
Irish Furniture Dealer.
Murphy, a furniture dealer from Dublin, decided to expand the line of furniture in his store, so he travels to Paris to see what he could find.

After arriving in Paris, he visited some manufacturers and selected a line that he thought would sell well back home. To celebrate the new acquisition, he decided to visit a small bistro and have a glass of wine.
As he sat enjoying his wine, he noticed that the small place was quite crowded, and that the other chair at his table was the only vacant seat in the house.

Before long, a very beautiful young Parisian girl came to his table; asked him something in French (which Murphy couldn't understand); so he motioned to the vacant chair and invited her to sit down. He tried to speak to her in English, but she did not speak English. After a couple of minutes of trying to communicate with her, he took a napkin and drew a picture of a wine glass and showed it to her. She nodded, so he ordered a glass of wine for her.

After sitting together at the table for a while, he took another napkin, and drew a picture of a plate with food on it, and she nodded.
They left the bistro and found a quiet cafe that featured a small group playing romantic music. They ordered dinner, after which he took another napkin and drew a picture of a couple dancing. She nodded, and they got up to dance. They danced until the cafe closed and the band was packing up.

Back at their table, the young lady took a napkin and drew a picture of a four-poster bed.

To this day, Murphy has no idea how she figured out that he was in the furniture business.




(This is the lady in question ;) ;D)

Offline matcho mick

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Re: Funnies/Jokes
« Reply #1324 on: July 14, 2011, 11:19:34 pm »



The priest in a small Irish village loved the rooster and ten hens he
kept in the hen house behind the church.

One Sunday morning, before mass, he went to feed the birds and
discovered that the cock was missing.

He knew about cock fights in the village, so he questioned his
parishioners in church.
During mass, he asked the congregation, 'Has anybody got a cock?'
All the men stood up.

'No, no,' he said, 'that wasn't what I meant. Has anybody seen a cock?'
All the women stood up .

'No, no,' he said, 'that wasn't what I meant. Has anybody seen a cock
that doesn't belong to them?'
Half the women stood up.

'No, no,' he said, 'that wasn't what I meant. Has anybody seen MY cock?'

Sixteen altar boys, two priests and a goat stood up.


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work,the curse of the racing class!!
if a hammer dosn't fix it,you have a electrical problem!!

mx250

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Re: Funnies/Jokes
« Reply #1325 on: July 15, 2011, 10:57:42 am »
Especially for the Grumpy Old Opinionated Men ;D.


mx250

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Re: Funnies/Jokes
« Reply #1326 on: July 18, 2011, 11:17:39 pm »
Stuck in a Traffic Jam

 A driver is stuck in a traffic jam in Canberra ...

Nothing is moving.

Suddenly a man knocks on the car window.

The driver rolls down his window and asks, 'What's going on?'

'Terrorists down the road have kidnapped Kevin Rudd, Julia Gillard, Wayne Swan and Bob Brown.

They're asking for a $10 million ransom. Otherwise they're going to douse them with petrol and set them on fire.

We're going from car to car, taking up a collection.'

The driver asks, 'How much is everyone giving, on average?'

'Most people are giving about Five Litres.' ;D

mx250

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Re: Funnies/Jokes
« Reply #1327 on: July 20, 2011, 08:55:18 am »

Offline EML

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Re: Funnies/Jokes
« Reply #1328 on: July 20, 2011, 09:21:47 pm »
WTF .... it's bad enough having an ex girlfriends name tatooed on yourself, but what is that shite???

mx250

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Re: Funnies/Jokes
« Reply #1329 on: July 20, 2011, 09:23:41 pm »
..... but what is that shite???

That's what the other monkey is saying ;) :D

mx250

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Re: Funnies/Jokes
« Reply #1330 on: July 22, 2011, 08:33:30 am »
;D

Offline VMX247

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Re: Funnies/Jokes
« Reply #1331 on: July 27, 2011, 08:57:22 pm »
Classic Towing for White Knights
Best is in the West !!

Curly3

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Re: Funnies/Jokes
« Reply #1332 on: July 27, 2011, 09:00:32 pm »
Royalties Alison.
What a crack up.

Offline pancho

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Re: Funnies/Jokes
« Reply #1333 on: July 28, 2011, 08:46:31 am »
 Shaunesy wanders into a cemetery.
 He sees a head stone.
 'Here lays John O'Malley.
 A Lawyer and a good man'.

 He says, 'How about that, the've buried three in the one grave.'


   Deep down lawyers are allright.
dont follow me i'm probably off line!

Offline Lozza

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Re: Funnies/Jokes
« Reply #1334 on: July 28, 2011, 09:15:35 am »
What was Amy Winehouse's biggest hit?

Her last one

What song will Elton John will sing at Amy Winehouse's funeral?

A soulful 'Candle under the spoon'

McDonald's have a new Amy Winehouse meal deal.

No burger No chips just lots of coke and ice
Jesus only loves two strokes