> > At Sunday church the local Vicar explains that he must move on to a larger
>
> > congregation that will pay him more.
> >
> > There is a hush within the congregation. No one wants him to leave because
>
> > he is so popular.
> > Ian Follings, who owns several car dealerships in Southland and Otago,
> > stands up and proclaims: 'If the Vicar stays, I will provide him with a
> > new Holden every year and his wife with a Honda mini-van to transport
> > their children!'
> > The congregation sighs in appreciation and applauds.
> > Sam Brown, a successful entrepreneur and publican, stands and says, 'If
> > the Vicar will stay on here, I'll personally double his salary and
> > establish a foundation to guarantee private secondary school education of
> > his children!'
> > More sighs and loud applause.
> > Agnes Jones, age 88, stands and announces with a smile, 'If the Vicar
> > stays, I will give him sex.'
> > There is total silence.
> > The Preacher, blushing, asks her: 'Mrs. Jones, you're a wonderful and holy
>
> > lady, whatever possessed you to say that?'
> > Agnes's 90-year old husband, Joe, is now trying to hide, holding his
> > forehead with the palm of his hand and shaking his head from side to side,
>
> > while his wife replies: 'Well, I just asked my husband how we could help,
> > and he said, 'fork him'.
Keep Smiling
Jackie Mac
