Funnies/Jokes

[80-85 husky]

Norman  and Barry got married in California.

They  couldn't afford a honeymoon so they  go back to Norman's Mom and Dad's house for their first  married night together.

In the morning, Johnny,  Norman's little  brother, gets up and has his breakfast. As he is going out of  the door  to go to school,
he asks his mom if Norman and Barry are  up yet. She replies,  'No'.

Johnny asks, 'Do you know what I think?' 
His mom  replies, 'I don't want to hear what you  think! Just  go to school.' 

Johnny comes home for lunch and  asks his  mom, 'Are Norman and Barry up yet?' She replies, 'No.' 

Johnny says,  'Do you know what I think?'
His mom replies, 'Never mind  what you  think! Eat your lunch and go back to school ' 

After school,  Johnny comes home and asks again, 'Are Norman and Barry up  yet?'
His  mom says, 'No.'

He asks, 'Do you know what I  think?'


His  mom replies, 'OK, now tell me what you think.' 

 

He  says: 'Last night Norman came to my  room for the Vaseline and I think I gave him my airplane  glue.'

[shelpi]

The fattest Knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He aquired his size from too much pi.

[Hoony]

The fattest Knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He aquired his size from too much pi.

and his mate Sir Lunchalot

[shelpi]

The fattest Knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He aquired his size from too much pi.

and his mate Sir Lunchalot

Boom boom

[shelpi]

No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

[Hoony]

only 2 ways to understand sheila's................................................no man has ever found either one

[shelpi]

She was only a whisky maker, but he loved her still.

[Husky70]

She was only a woodcutter's daughter, but she gave them all circular sores....

[EML]

The fattest Knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He aquired his size from too much pi.

and his mate Sir Lunchalot

Boom boom

Don't they both live in Canberra....might send them some airplane glue for a wedding present

[shelpi]

The fattest Knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He aquired his size from too much pi.

and his mate Sir Lunchalot

Boom boom

Don't they both live in Canberra....might send them some airplane glue for a wedding present

was that airoplane glue in a vasoline jar

[shelpi]

Two silk worms had a race. they ended up in a tie.

[TM BILL]

A WOMAN WALKS INTO AN ACCOUNTANT'S OFFICE AND TELLS HIM THAT SHE NEEDS TO FILE HER TAX RETURN.

The accountant says, "Before we begin, I'll need to ask you a few questions."

He gets her name, address, tax file number, etc. and then asks," What is your occupation?"

"I'm a prostitute," she says.

The accountant is somewhat taken aback and says, "Let us try to rephrase that."

The woman says, "OK, I ' m a high-end call girl".

"No, that still won't work. Try again."

They both think for a minute; then the woman says, "I'm an elite chicken farmer."

The accountant asks, "What does chicken farming have to do with being a prostitute?"

"Well, I raised 650 cocks last year."

"Chicken Farmer it is."

[pancho]

Census taker kings cross. What do you do for a job hhe says I'm a poof you can't put that down OK what the lady next door put she's a pro OK put me down as an aspro.
O

[Viper666]

Census taker kings cross. What do you do for a job hhe says I'm a poof you can't put that down OK what the lady next door put she's a pro OK put me down as an as pro.
O

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[GD66]

Never post pissed.