OzVMX Forum
Clubroom => General Discussion => Topic started by: evo550 on November 28, 2014, 11:02:22 pm
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Can't quite put my finger on it 8)
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Nope, it's back
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again?
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Alzheimer or is it Dementia ...
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I used to be indecisive now I'm not sure
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huh
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Had a fall recently .
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A pigs orgasm lasts 30 minutes.
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gunna be a lot of pigs in the next life :o ;D
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Only the female mosquito bites and they have 32 teeth ???
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sheep bladders prevent earthquakes !
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37 teeth.... ;) ;)
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the human brain weighs 8lb
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37 teeth.... ;) ;)
are there tooth ferries for mosquito's ???
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The New Zealand kiwi bird can't fly as we'll ???
Theres more sheep than people as we'll over there :-[ ;D
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37 teeth.... ;) ;)
37 teeth it is.......only tiny but they friggin hurt >:(
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The New Zealand kiwi bird can't fly as we'll ???
Theres more sheep than people as we'll over there :-[ ;D
Sheep get very nervous when they get stuck in a fence in ENZUD........ Farmers think all their dreams have come true......
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baby ferrets are called Kits....anyone want one?
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GMC sells replica HL kits- i am confused
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General Motors Corporation does not sell HL Kits . Our GMC does not sell new puss bucket SUV's, or people movers, or estate cabriolet coupe hardtop hatchback willy wagons either ;) He does design ,engineer then fabricate, sublime works of functional off road motorcycle art. ;)
What the F**k is a bloody SUV anyway?
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A sure sign of insanity is to do the same thing over and over hoping for a different outcome.
I've decided to vote independent next time. ;)
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I had one of those .. but the wheels fell off :(
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Im not so sure 42 is the answer we all need now ???
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If you say "Gullible" really slow it sounds like Oranges!
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If you say "Gullible" really slow it sounds like Oranges!
^^^^^^^
;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
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I like electric motors and tropical fish
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I like tropical motors and electric fish.
or is that tropical electrics and fish motors?
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They reckon cows are smarter than horses ???
My two horses well the daughters I have paid the most shares in them and ride them ::)
The horses can lay down on command 8)
Bloody cows can't do that ;D or can they
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Don't know about cows being dumber than horses, but they are psychosomatic like humans.
One human yawns and many follow even if they did not see the first.
One cow shits in the dairy during milking then the bloody rest follow even if they did not see the first..... >:(
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Don't know about cows being dumber than horses, but they are psychosomatic like humans.
One human yawns and many follow even if they did not see the first.
One cow shits in the dairy during milking then the bloody rest follow even if they did not see the first..... >:(
interesting facts tim I have to agree ;)
I seem to like this thread and facts and quotes 8)
And I like your work timo
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The New Zealand kiwi bird can't fly as we'll ???
Theres more sheep than people as we'll over there :-[ ;D
No snakes either ;)
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ARR I get it flightless Kiwi birds and sheep eat snakes! 8)
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Is (a jiffy) an actual unit of time, or just an expression.
Zane
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A Jiffy is Used as an Actual Unit of Time
The word ‘jiffy’ has been around since at least the late 18th century. What it derived from is unknown, but it first popped up as a “thieves slang for ‘lightning’”. Fast forward about a century and a half later and famed Physical Chemist Gilbert Newton Lewis, who incidentally came up with the word ‘photon’,noted a ‘jiffy’ be officially defined as the time it takes for light to travel one centimeter in a vacuum (about 33.3564 picoseconds). Since then, others in physics and chemistry have suggested alternative distances to measure a jiffy over, rather than light traveling for a centimeter, but the original value is still most typically used in physics and chemistry.
The term ‘jiffy’ has branched out to mean different time values in other fields than it does in physics and chemistry. In computer science, for instance, what a jiffy precisely defines time-wise is tied to timer interrupts, defined as “the duration of one tick of a timer interrupt”. Obviously this varies from system to system, but usually is between 1-10 ms, with the commonly held value being 10 ms.
For electrical engineers, jiffy originally had a different meaning than today, relating to alternating currents. Specifically, it was .0167 or .02 seconds, which is the time between AC power cycles (.0167 seconds for the United States and .02 seconds in Europe). However, today it usually just means .01 seconds (10 ms), as with computer science, but in this case for no particular reason other than that’s the resolution of most common stopwatches.
33.3564 picoseconds! big deal... neighbours Rottweiler eats two large cans of Pedigree Road Kill Plus in half that time!!! ::) Tim754
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33.3564 picoseconds! big deal... neighbours Rottweiler eats two large cans of Pedigree Road Kill Plus in half that time!!! ::) Tim754
My Border Collie bitch would match that if she was given the chance :o
And.....my Tenterfield Terrier actually jumps up to catch the Blowflys.....and gets them! Never timed her but I reckon her reaction time is 0001
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Ahh thanks Tim, but i always was under the impression that if Someone said that they will be back in a Jiffy that they would reappear in no particular set time,
wearing peculiar pair of soft sided slippers with elastic support around the brim ???
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I like tropical motors and electric fish.
or is that tropical electrics and fish motors?
Come to think of it I like tropical electric fish motors
What was the name of those old wooden ships the spainish used to use in the old days?
Anywho, how many miles to the Gallion did they get ???
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What was the name of those old wooden ships the spainish used to use in the old days?
Anywho, how many miles to the Gallion did they get ???
The distance covered per Gallion depended on tide, wind, and how many opposition guns they encountered while trying to rape, pillage and plunder ::)
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The tongue is the only human muscle that can push.
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Thanks Tim but did you know that you can find the temperature by counting the chirps of a cricket. To calculate in Celsius, count the number of chirps in 25 seconds, divide that by 3, then add 4 to get the temperature. Example: 48 chirps divide by 3 = 16 + 4 = 20 degrees.
I think this is the system the TV weather forcasters use.
Zane
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The tongue is the only human muscle that can push.
He got his teeth into this and in a lick he spat out a quick response, though many wished to grab him by the throat and gum up the virtual dribbling saliva with his tonsils.
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"save the planet!!!"
its the only one with Beer :o 8) ;D
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Lets face it, every one is entitled to their own beliefs........
I believe i'll have another beer! :D
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Marriage is responsible for 100% of divorces in this country...
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Apparently the Swiss like baked cat for xmas instead of turkey.
Cheaper I suppose.
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I used to be concieted once, but now you couldn't wish to meet a better bloke.
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According to Tolstoy,the "present" does not exist,because it is between the"past" and the "future"and can't be measured,while you are thinking about that,is the centre of a spinning shaft moving or stationary,if it is moving at what point does it change direction?
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I wanted to send some sort of holiday greeting to my friends,
but it is difficult in today's world to know exactly what to say without offending someone.
So I met with my lawyer yesterday, and on his advice I wish to say the following:
Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for
an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non addictive,
gender neutral celebration of the summer solstice holiday practised
with the most enjoyable traditions of religious persuasion
or secular practices of your choice with respect
for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others,
or their choice not to practise religious or secular traditions at all.
I also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling
and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset
of the generally accepted calendar year 2015,
but not without due respect for the calendar
of choice of other cultures whose contributions
to society have helped make our country great
(not to imply that Australia is necessarily greater than any other country)
and without regard to the race, creed, colour, age, physical ability, religious faith
or sexual preference of the wishee .
By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms:
This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal.
It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting.
It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any
of the wishes for her/him or others and is void where prohibited by law,
and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher.
The wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application
of good tidings for a period of one year or until the issuance of a new wish
at the sole discretion of the wisher.
Best Regards (without prejudice)
Name withheld (Privacy Act).
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;D ;D ;D (http://ecomodder.com/forum/member-piwoslaw-albums-smileys-picture2537-santa-smiley.gif)
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I wanted to send some sort of holiday greeting to my friends,
but it is difficult in today's world to know exactly what to say without offending someone.
So I met with my lawyer yesterday, and on his advice I wish to say the following:
Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for
an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non addictive,
gender neutral celebration of the summer solstice holiday practised
with the most enjoyable traditions of religious persuasion
or secular practices of your choice with respect
for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others,
or their choice not to practise religious or secular traditions at all.
I also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling
and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset
of the generally accepted calendar year 2015,
but not without due respect for the calendar
of choice of other cultures whose contributions
to society have helped make our country great
(not to imply that Australia is necessarily greater than any other country)
and without regard to the race, creed, colour, age, physical ability, religious faith
or sexual preference of the wishee .
By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms:
This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal.
It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting.
It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any
of the wishes for her/him or others and is void where prohibited by law,
and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher.
The wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application
of good tidings for a period of one year or until the issuance of a new wish
at the sole discretion of the wisher.
Best Regards (without prejudice)
Name withheld (Privacy Act).
The new Queensland governor said something like the above in his christmas greeting to the Qld people last night.
He was a lawyer before this job.
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If you say "Gullible" really slow it sounds like Oranges!
I like this thread!
Is there something wrong with me?
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PANCHO I used to be indecisive but now I'm not sure.
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"A sure sign of insanity is to do the same thing over and over hoping for a different outcome.
I've decided to vote independent next time. ;)"
Ya mug! Voting for any politician is doin' the same thing over and over again.... for the same results...... >:(
A single humped camel is called a dromedary , A two humped camel is a bactrian , not sure why I typed this as personally I don't give a toss.
A ducks quack echo cannot be heard in a vacuum,( no not a vacuum cleaner ya smartarse..) It can be heard otherwise :)
Yesterday I had a colonostomy* (Butt cam OK) and yep it found I am mostly full of shit.... ;D
I am bloody definitely decisive! I think..
* True I am over 55 and along with your prostate checks you should do that poo thingo big brother posts you, or ask your favourite medical ripoff merchant mates! It is nice to know that nasty Jack the Dancers aren't hiding up ya poo shute ;)
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whats a 3 humped camel called ???
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Pissed......
or perhaps a two humped one being ridden over a bloody speed hump..
or perhaps a rooted one at an orgy...
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ferrets for sale!
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The longest distance between 2 points is always known as a short cut. Murphy's Law.
Murphy wasn't a pessimist, He was a very experienced optimist ;D
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4 sale 1x1 ltr bottles of dehydrated water, just add one litre of water and shake,
bubbles will cost extra
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Murphy's combat law...a sucking chest wound is lifes way of telling you to slow down.....
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You havta kill me before I die! Yellow Beard
Dont take life to seriously, cos ya wont make it out Alive! Bugs Bunny
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C'mon ! more sages please!
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There is no corruption in politics and all politicians are in the job for good of the country.
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Don't know any sages, do know lady was named Rosemary G**** till she married R***** Herbert Parsaley. Yep they get Rosemary and Herb Parsley... ::)
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They say that the average person's left hand does 56% of the typing. This sounds like bullshit to me because most of the people I know type with only use one finger and it is on their right hand.
Zane
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He who laughs last probably doesn't get the joke.
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When nothing goes right... go left.
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There are only two rules for success in life.
(1) Never give out all the information.
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Do unto others before they do unto you .
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Penguin urine makes up 3% of the ice in the Antarctic.
That knowledge could come in handy :D
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Apparently the Swiss like baked cat for xmas instead of turkey.
Cheaper I suppose.
4 drumsticks per cat
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don't eat the yellow snow
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The sky is blue. Water is wet and never runs uphill. People lie
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No fur on frogs and eggs don't bounce
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My brother has Christmas dinner every year with a close friend of his and his Filipino wife. He told me that last year she had cooked suckling pig which was very tasty only problem was it had a frisbee in it's mouth.
Zane
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No fur on eggs and frogs don't bounce....
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one one was a race horse
two two was one to
one one won one race
and two two won one to
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did humpty fall? or was he pushed??
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depends ....... on what you believe, one conspiracy thoery says he was pushed with a stick from a grassy knoll :-X
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He fell , stoned again .
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What about BillyJoe Mcallister, Did he jump or was he thrown off the tallahatchy bridge :-\ :-\ :-\ :-\
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Note to myself when you buy some nice shinny horse spurs that rattle when you walk 8)
When you jump on the horse make sure you don't hit the spurs in there flanks buy accident when they are trotting because they will bolt like hell :o but I stayed on while my ph was ringing to :-[ ;D
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Ever walk into a room with some purpose in mind, only to completely forget what that purpose was?
Turns out, doors themselves are to blame for these strange memory lapses.
Psychologists at the University of Notre Dame have discovered that passing through a doorway triggers what's known as an event boundary in the mind, separating one set of thoughts and memories from the next. Your brain files away the thoughts you had in the previous room and prepares a blank slate for the new locale.
Thank goodness for studies like this. It's not our age, it's the damn door!
I knew it couldn't be my fault.
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But what if i walk in to a door because i forgot it was there?
Are we in to the twilight zone yet and what's the strange music i can hear?
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A Jiffy is Used as an Actual Unit of Time
And a Barn is a real physical unit too. As in "they couldn't hit a barn from here". It a measure of the probability of a collision between two particles in a collider.
Lions have sex up to 100 times a day. Bugger coming back as a pig. Come back as a lion, shag yourself stupid and get the females to do all the work
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Lions as King of the Jungle regularly find themselves in the sights of some egotistical short bloke with a .5 calibre rifle. the pigs looking good
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Dunno about being a pig out here,12hrs flying time,3000 rounds=1000 less pigs!
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HHHHHM pork crackling
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what gets shot with the other 2000 rounds????
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what gets shot with the other 2000 rounds???? Doors.....
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Road signs ;D
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if its feral its in peril - goates, pigs, cats, rabbits, camels, buffalo, cain toeds, european wasp
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Lions as King of the Jungle regularly find themselves in the sights of some egotistical short bloke with a .5 calibre rifle. the pigs looking good
Pig WILL be slaughtered. Lion *might* be shot as long as it's not a "canned" lion. I'll stick with a lion thanks ;D
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If they put Lion in a can,it would be"SLAM"
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no shortage of punters fit that bill that's for sure..."if its feral its in peril " I love it :D
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;) so many ferals so few bullets
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They should put more wine in the bottle .... so there's enough for two people.
Zane
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Hey Santa Clause, You forgot my f@#kin bike.....
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what gets shot with the other 2000 rounds????
One wire in a just finished 1klm strain of 11klm electric fence .
Only thing the guy hit.
We had to go back and fix it.
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If I had a hammer.
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If I had a hammer.
Id have a harley tool kit.
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don't eat the yellow snow
Don't eat trough (urinal) lollies
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don't eat the yellow snow
Don't eat trough (urinal) lollies
toilet candy
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I always thought Harley motors were compressors that were 2nds .
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Hammer a Harley tool kit? try a rock , wooden club and loud guttural grunting... yeah yeah back off just kidding ;)
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Harley tool kit! What a pisser!
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Just imagine. If u had bought $1000 of Qantas shares 1 year ago, u would have $49 today.
If u had bought $1000 of AIG shares 1 year ago, u would have $33 today.
If u had bought $1000 of Lehman Brothers shares 1 year ago, u would have $0 today.
But, if u purchased $1000 worth of beer 1 year ago, drank all the beer, then returned the aluminum cans for recycling, you would have recieved $214.
Based on the above, the best current investment plan is to drink heavily & recycle.
Also, did u know... A recent study found that the average Aussie walks 600 miles a year. Another study found that Aussies drink (on average) 22 gallons of alcohol a year.
That means that, on average, Aussies get over 27 miles to the gallon!
Makes u proud to be an Aussie doesn't it?
Zane
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By your good maths Zane , I better ditch the large glass bottles and go for the tinnies. ;D
How's that rm500 going to ?
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Mick it will be a while before I get to it, still collecting bits. First I have to finish the side-piper and then the Honda CZ 100, that will be enough to keep me busy for a while.
Zane