Is anyone else this silly

[brent j]

In the early 80’s I had an original forward control Land Rover. The tray was about 1.2-1.3 M off the ground so getting bikes on meant a couple of strong guys or ride it up a ramp. I had a Honda TL250 at the time so used to ride it up a plank and just ride/jump it off the back to get it back off. This used to impress my mates no end as none of them new anything about trials.

I went to unload the TL one cold Wellington night, turned the bike around, started it and rode down the tray. I blipped the throttle as the front wheel reached the end and was rewarded with a “PAHHHH” sound as the cold motor stalled and the front wheel dived for the bitumen below.
How I didn’t go over the bars I don’t know. The bike stayed upright and the back wheel dropped neatly behind. I quietly pushed it onto dad’s shed.

I had on a Tee shirt and shorts, runners and NO helmet

[Mike52]

Guy over on Cafe Husky swore black and blue that it was NOT possible to fit the slide in a Mikuni backwards.

[shelpi]

Guy over on Cafe Husky swore black and blue that it was NOT possible to fit the slide in a Mikuni backwards.

ahh sure you cant is all a figment of our imagination

[sa63]

we shouldn't let the truth get in way of a good story!
but I think most off of us as kids have a jammed slide, bike screaming, pull off the plug cap and get a good buzz story there somewhere..

[micks]

yes you can been there done that yamaha xs650 dirt tracker with 33mm mikuni lh/rh and i still get payed out on it to this day. same bike would fire up both coils at the same time couldn`t work out why.  wired up kill button to the coils so when one coil sparked it would spark the other coil. mate found the problem  i thanked him   then tells me he has done the same thing.

[brent j]

I had a chain come off on my XT500 and break the left hand engine case.
I got a new case and rebuilt the motor, when I started it, it had a knock.

I could feel a knock through the crank so figured it was main bearings

I pulled the motor out replaced the mains, re-fit run and the knock is still there!

Ok it’s the big end
I pulled the motor out replaced the rod, bearing and pin, re-fit run and the knock is still there!

Pulled it put again! Stripped it and checked the endfloat on the crank and replaced the clutch shaft bearing
Re-fit and hang on, the bike won’t move.
I pulled the motor out and found I had put a selector fork in BESIDE the groove on the gear which jammed it in two gears at once
Re-fit, run and the knock is still there!

By this time two of us were getting the motor out and on the bench in 12 minutes. I was removing the entire clutch to cut down on the weight. Each of us did the same job each time.

This time I started very slowly, I removed the motor complete and put it on the bench.
Removed the plug and turned it over, it had a knock.
Removed the tappet cover and cam, it had a knock
Removed the head, it had a knock
Removed the cylinder and piston, it had a knock
Removed the side cover and clutch, it had NO knock!
When I checked the primary drive gears I found a mark on the clutch drive gear.
Every time the motor turned about 2.5 turns it went clunk!
I was a bit peeved but happy at the same time.

Re-fit, run and no knock!

[Matador107]

Had a bloke working for me who owned a ZJ 6cyl Fairlane that his wife drove. It used to use a bit of water in summer, she visits her dad one day and he told her to check the water before driving back home.
So before the drive back, lifts the bonnet, looks in, removes cap,  and water is gone, gets out the hose and fills Ol Hentry up. Job done, then dad comes round the corner,-------- She had removed the oil filler cap and filled the engine with water.
NRMA to the rescue.

Another mate of ours back in the day had a flat back tyre on his OSSA, bought a new tube,removed tyre and fitted tube,refitted tyre. Got out the tyre pump, too bad he had refitted the old tube, PRICELESS.

[80-85 husky]

ol mate had a 186 on the floor of the shed (he leased 1/2 from a used car dealer) and a punter arrives and wants to buy it. "can I hear it run?" he says "sure" ol mate says and gets a tin of peterhol and a battery. pours some juice down the throat of the carb and arcs the starter and she fires right up. the oil pressure switch had a gauge fitting and a 2mm jet of oil at 50 PSI hits his chin and he reels back pulling the carb on full bore and igniting the tin of petrol which he put near the exhaust manifold. with oil spraying from the roof, an unmuffled 186 at full tit and a jam tin on fire, a bystanders goes to grab the tin of fuel and accidently kicks it across the workshop leaving a wall of fire......

I laughed for hours..not even groucho could beat this team of clowns. took hours for the roof to stop dripping oil....

the guy that owned the shop stood there for 15 minutes with his jaw hanging open...he couldn't believe what he had just seen

Gold....with OH&S these days, moments like this are almost endangered

[jerry]

Your story wins by far at this point John. J

[sa63]

many years ago I was driving on the development  road between  Mt Molloy to Cooktown in FNQ, and came across a broken down car, a ford laser with about 8 people in it ,which had overheated and they had NFI what to do. It was near a creek so I said  you need water to cool it down, none left, so off they go to get water, and I was doing something and when I came back to look all the water theyd got was being poured on the motor...took a while to get the message across about putting it in the radiator....I was a bit gobsmacked at that  and not long after  I decided a graceful exit was called for...

[pancho]

 When I had the local servo-repair shop  jolly Indian person came in so i referred him to my apprentice (son)  who came over to me and said what the F*** is the feller talking about!' so I decided to see him ' how can I help you" I said he replied  'the SELF won't work'
 my memory system clicked back to my childhood days of reading anything about cars that I could get hold of then I said 'just park it over there and switch it off and see to it shortly' 'ok'

 He went down to the takeway  for curry or such and my son says 'what the F***? ' I said the starter won't work' he says?
 Look in the owners hand book it will  have 'Turn on the ignition and operate the SELF starter.
 cheers pancho

[pancho]

 Like all the rest of us I've got plenty of examples of my own stupidity to share!
 cheers

[Sorelegs11]

Late 70s had a PE175 with a bodgy carb needle, one morning engine full of fuel, removed spark plug from head, put plug back into ciol lead, push bike to expell fuel from engine, spark plug grounded, lights up fuel, bike on fire WTF, run into laundry and grab everyone elses wet washing, put fire out, mmm not too much damage  , throw sooty wet clothes onto footpath and start bike, go for ride.
Come home a happy lad only to be confronted by shitty flatmates with no clean clothes to go to pub (fri night, all 18) in, get crap beaten out of me and bastards steal my last $50 to go to vinnies to get new clobber.
So remember dont put plug back into cap 

[Matador107]

A mate was doing his time at a servo in Lewisham  opposite the Girls high school, but that's another story, a bloke comes in and in broken English said "I need a turn a slowly".

He was after a radiator cap.Check yours out tomorrow.

[Tim754]

Driven for 40+ minutes, turned around went back home and this time hooked the bike trailer with bikes and sidecar on to the car.......... .