Right you mongrels....
1. Get out of my shed, put the bikes back I'm NOT dead yet!
2. Now I know who me mates are Harvey!
3.......and you Kalika want me to ferry your ill-gotten parts tax free through customs?
4. As for you Baker.... lets just say that I've been letting people put more deposits on your 175 than seaguls have on the harbour bridge. So far 6 people think they own it, ha!
5. Hammond, always trying to upstage me; do better next time, try to knock yourself into next week and get me out of here...
6. Morris, how many days do I have to do straight up to beat your hospital record, or is it just frequency of visits?
As for matron, she's the only one who understands my need for TLC in ways I can't explain on this family friendly forum. If I can just stop her hand from shaking as she shaves me....
...half seriously guys, at least I can make my apologies here for f----g up our deserved repuation for whipping UK arse... but I'm heading to the Hot Trod to eat large servings of humble pie next weekend, gawd, when will the humiliation end? NOT WHEN I GET HOME OBVIOUSLY FROM YOU B--STDS!!!!
Actually Nigel and Sue have liberated me from Blackpool Hospital and I can't believe how my taste buds have withered over the past week...I am in seventh heaven right now in a quaint stone cottage supping on lasagne, salad, garlic bread, peaches and fruit salad heavy on the liquer and lively conversation.
Heart attacks - hey, they lead to the most unexpected outcomes. Little did I know that when I shook a rugged looking man's hand in the field at Greythwaite what lay before me.Nigel looks as though he could break a man in half with little effort yet is as shy retiring type.(see photo above) Little did I know that the person I handed my card into before I went for a 'lie down' (Sue) would be taking me across the UK through scenery that makes postcards look very average and serving a meal that puts a lie to every poor conception of English cooking (well, my mother's at least).
AH guys, I'm blissed out and blessed, this is the life.
Cheers, you b-------s.