Really crap stuff

[All Things 414]

Firko and Lozza were talking about plastic levers and sprockets from another era and it made me think of some of the truely stupid things people have come out with over the years.
Do you remember trying something which was just plain dumb?
I bought a set of Scott automatic roll-offs during the late eighties thinking they'd be the ants-pants.
They had a little window on the head strap that you put your finger over, blocking the light to it, thus rolling a new strip across. Brilliant
After doing the sighting lap of a Pony Express, I returned to top up my fuel (I was doing it solo) placing my goggles in my helmet as I always do. With only a minute or so till the start, a friend came over to chat and inquired what the buzzing sound was that he could hear. HOLY SHIT!! Because the light was blocked off from my goggles, the entire film wound itself off leaving me no time to put a fresh one in before the start.
It was a particularly muddy race and I DNF'ed within the hour after copping numerous rocks and clods of mud to my eyes.
I gave them one more try in a motocross. After getting filled in from the first half lap, the window was covered in mud and I had about 30 seconds of gloriously clear vision and then they ran out. Within a few minutes, so did I.

They got tossed.....

[Tony T]

I only ever tried Roll-Offs once.
In my infinite wisdom, they happened to be on a set of goggles I was using while practicing for the Finke Desert Race.
They started to flap around a bit at 100kph, but once I hit 160 and turned around to see if anyone was behind me, the whole roll flew out and nearly took the goggles with it. 

[Maicojames]

Never used them , not even tear-offs now . I treat inside of lens with anti fog-and outside with rain-x. Was never able to pull just one tear -off-not worth it. IN US VMX we usually run five laps. If it is that horribly muddy, I make a decision to risk damaging rare parts or not. If the dirt is not sinking, I put around. If it is worse, I watch others break parts.

Worst crap stuff I used was a really cheap chain. I stretched it to where it flew off in moto one. I actually removed links for moto two and stretched again, not as much but too much. It sucks to spnd mega $, but a cheap chain...well I can't afford it.  I now stick with DID, Regina, or CZ chain only.

[Wombat]

My crap stuff was self made as opposed to a bought one.
Remember the Scott face masks; there was a trend I saw in the magazines whereby the face mask was cut down.
The bottom half of the mask was cut off level with the tip of the nose - straight across.
It looked a bit like an eagles beak I suppose; and pretty cool.
Anyways, it was all the rage in the magazines so I gave it a try.
Predictably the result was a face full of roost.
When I added the Jofa to cover the face it just felt awkward!
WTF was I thinking and what a waste of a Scott face mask.

And on that note I'm chasing a white or yellow Scott face mask; does anyone have one for sale?

[Maicojames]

Man, a few just ended on e-bay US, but at the prices ( avg $50-125 US) it is tough.
I have wondered why someone like DC plastics does not reproduce them( copyright laws?)..if not they should as if they could sell for about $25 or less people could use them to race with. Maybe I should make some. 

BTW, both the Scott and Oakley "half masks" were crap, couldnt breathe and a nose of roost.

[GMC]

I had a pair of those goggles 414 (I think they were actually Smith?), but I chose the model with the button instead of the electric eye. The eye seemed like it would be prone to trouble, sometimes you can outsmart youself with too much technology.
I still have them somewhere, do they still make roll offs?
I haven't seen any for a while, but then they were really just an Enduro thing.

[Tim754]

Purchased a "sticky back" seat cover years ago. Suppose to slow sliding about on seats, mostly for road bikes but trail/mx too. Yep What was I thinking!!!! Got the an awful groin rash/burn from the shit and first hot day left in sun the "patented " pus melted down the sides of my Ducati RT450
 Yes as the T shirt said. "to be old and wise like me ,once you had to be young and stupid!" Tim

[Maicojames]

How about that Bell Moto 5 helmet. Excellent helmet actually, but the stock visor....it had these vents-and stupid rubber inserts. Well, in top gear on a 250, the visor created a lot of lift-you could feel it lifting your head, remove the inserts( easy to do since they fall out in high speed wind) and now you have these little slots in your visor-perfect for taking extra roost, in fact I swear they attracted it.
Total bucket of crap visor.  Put a Troy Lee visor on it asap.

[Wombat]

James, if you have the know-how pls make some; I'll  buy one off ya!
On other threads we've lamented the lack of old school products that would easily gain market sales through the growing VMX scene.
All those Companies with the copyright and the expertise could easily reproduce many of these items.
Scott have a modern version of the mask - would they really split a nut sack adding the old retro model? 
I wonder if a letter suggesting it may help...

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[DJRacing]

How about the JT clip on face guard?? It would be nice to be able to go to your local bike shop and buy one of the shelf.

[All Things 414]

I'm sure they were Scott. Yes Geoff they still make roll-offs. You can get them with an activation button on your handle bars these days (if you can find room with the lap timer button and the kill switch!).
I had a set of Smith's with the little fan in them. We'd all sit around them on really hot days and drink cooldies but apparantly the fan was to stop them fogging up ........

[Wombat]

On the fogging up thing...
Are you familiar with rubbing 'Selsun Blue' (shampoo) on auto glass to stop the fogging?
It was a trick I learnt during my stay in Victoria.
We'd wipe Selsun Blue on the inside of the windows before the trip up Mt. Buller and they wouldn't fog for days.

But I haven't tried it on goggles...and I have no idea who first thought to smear shampoo on the windows.

[All Things 414]

Maybe some toddlers left in the back seat with the shopping had something to do with it.....

[GD66]

 So, probably outside a casino, then....

[LWC82PE]

i was gonna put this in the wacky inventions section but will do put it here. there used to be plastic bash plates made by Preston Petty, Maier and i think some KDX 175's had plastic bash plates too.