Okay Shortie
, I'm no expert in the field but it sounds to me you have too soft springs and too much dampening.
Having established that the starting point is to get heavier springs. Then the dampening.
Spacers preloading the spring doesn't change the spring rate. Good for a little fine tuning but not a solution for a fundamental failing.
As to replacement springs it depends on how much money and time you want to spend. The starting point would be to find out what forks you have. Do you know? They are Betors but off what, a trail bike, trials bikes, enduro, mx'er, 125, or 360?
You could measure the compression of the current spring and ask around for replacement or simply play mix and match with other springs. I would try anything that fits. I don't know what you have in the 'stash' but I have a couple of Betors and a range of old Yammy 34mm road bike, trail bike and MX springs that I would try. Just take a guesstimate, make sure there they are approximately right for length, there is no binding or fouling and give it a try
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