This just came in....
Greeting to all our Western comrades from the glorious socialist state of Victoria.
I am Efin Fallinov, attaché to Productivity Commission for Special State Future Relations; Czech Division.
As Central Commisar, State Relations, I have been sent here to observe the workings of victorious Chay Zed ambassadors in veteran motocross. To preserve purity of socialist CZ dream of world revolution we must engage and defeat running dog revisionists. To this end, we prepare special motorcycle through Comrade Mikael Schmit. Is not true of factory model as not want to distance every CZ rider. But make bit special with cursed capitalist GMC parts maybe last for two weeks. Must group up loyal team riders, ride to team orders with Western CZ riders blocking running dog Maico and Husqvarna drivers. We send emissary from East to torpedo fast riders but will send to galug after Narrogin event unless improve speed. This rider have works bike but not works talent, would not even make ladies canteen team. Hmmph.
We take over Ferguson farmhouse with luxurious shed to improve CZ tuning; lucky is on top of hill. Eastern rider locked in caravan in shed at night to make tough. Not share comely delights of drinking, eating, singing and merrymaking of capitalist host. Czech ambassadors and Commisar strong enough to resist temptations and eat and drink house empty. Covert operation to sabotage will of riders is foiled by myself taking responsibility for beer ration. Not true I sleep with dog on porch this night, just waiting for eclipse.
Pre race day, Czech ambassadors sign many items as the proletariat throng to glimpse world famous working class motocross heroes. Faithful western CZ riders bring best of glorious motorcycles to command centre for spoke rattling, handlebar wriggling and wheel wobbling. Very strange procedure not seen in Eastern state. Red sticker on front number plate stops this and bikes unmolested after this. After sign in, there is still attempt to sabotage Czech riders with beers and shots but rider’s consorts soaked up spirits. During day, vehicles of all sorts roll into field. All competing riders and mechanics and comely consorts bring own small beer tents, erect such and put up with and give much taunts from fellow travellers of less pedigree motorcycles.
As Commisar I not appreciate ignorance of CZ riders using inferior western capitalist parts to replace quality standard items. Many confuse my name and call me Fugginov!
You cannot weld plastic mudguard, what wrong with Pal shocks? Jikov carbonator perfect combination, Mykuni too many parts. We have to overcome too complex motor parts on Juri bike made by Schmit but persevere for common good relations.
Saturday night is official welcome in local winery. Good relations abound with Czech riders showing magnanimity to lesser mortals. Much good cheer consumed. Proletariat was making merry down at the command centre with large bonfire and large beer consumption. Much hilarity and bonhomie cemented solidarity with fellow traveller CZ pilots and future CZ owners, co-ordinated by special agents Lawson and retired firewalker Lindgren.
Auspicious conditions greeted early risers on race day. Clear and cold set frost on seat and tank alike. Glory should be deserved by famous Czech team. Organising committee agent with funny hair made serious comment to not ride like Russians. Official greeting from Eastern show pony made light of serious mission. Practice sessions began with concern of sliding down track without motorcycle. Much slipping of tyres on grass and smooth dirt even for proven Barums. Much reckless riding around outside of proven riders by youthful players. Team strategy session confirmed importance of start, must start within sight of starters hand squeezing lever, and on left outside to avoid jam in first corner. Eastern rider on works bike unable to lift to Czech standard so relegated to B status. Unfortunate as no spoiler to protect number one rider I A grade race. Other CZ riders counselled to make ‘nudge’ to opposition if needed. Much horsepower needed to start and defend position with wide and smooth track too fast for specialist cross-country riders. Luckily three wheel chariots rip up grass and make good sticking for tyres. Unfortunate that Maico drivers get break on field which non-standard CZ motorcycle has trouble covering despite glorious ride from veteran CZ team rider Juri. As sun rose in sky, so do dust. Clever capitalist plot to deny wet track riders glory is suggested by uninformed B rider. Rider counselled by coach Falta and told to lift game; handholding is over. Unfortunate compression of riders in veteran race first corner find use for ambulance and recess is called whilst serious injured ambassador for the United States is taken for care. Much sadness falls over meeting and sympathy for rider is felt. If maybe on CZ and not YZ this not happen. Danger of track takes out riders with cut and thrust of riding making mistakes serious. Caution of track officials changes location of track for final races but start of race is vital; once in dust too hard to press through. Good spirits of riders make light of conditions and all seem happy with situation. Peace and Friendship (CZ only) Race sees glorious Czech Juri take honours with confused B rider not sure who to block as all CZ riders swamp him.
In other A grade event more Maico riders taunt Czech ambassador and stubborn German pilot puts Juri in the dirt. Naturally CZ unhurt but rider is not so. Concerned crew patch up bike and rider. Pride regained, position not so.
Handicap event provide another Maico victory. Suspect covert operation from West Germans. Suspected sleeper US threat not realised, maybe WG involvement in fracas?
All riders decamped to winery for presentation; main ambassador Falta gave out awards to deserving riders, peace and friendship flowed.
Summation and Recommendation to Productivity Commission.
1. Build faster motorcycle for Czech rider.
2. Put CZ sticker on Maicos.
3. B rider to galug.
4. Replace B rider with Ferguson grandson.
5. Jump the start and drag feet in dust.
6. Provide much more beer for non-team riders.
7. Get Falta to ride at all cost.
Commisar Efin Fallinov.
