If I had wanted to make a life long career out of working with the mentally retarded, I would have either gone into
Special Ed or opened up a Harley-Davidson dealership..." - Christopher T. Shields (Black Echo)
Did you know 95% of all Harleys are still on the road?
The other 5% actually made it home.
Is it true that Harleys are chick magnets?
Yes, but only if the chick has a steel plate in her head.
What's the cheapest way to get another 50hp from your Harley?
Trade it in on a Kawasaki.
Why don't Harley riders sit on their bikes when the sidestands are down?
They're afraid to lean over that far.
What's the difference between a Harley and a Harley owner's home?
The Harley costs more and has fewer wheels.
How do you now you're riding a Harley?
While coming off an exit-ramp you get passed by a Vespa.
Why don't Harley riders wave at sportbike riders?
Because they don't want to drop their tools.
How do you know all the aftermarket parts you bought for your Harley are worth the money?
You finally break into the 15's in the quarter mile.
Where can you find the world's largest collection of Harley jokes?
At Sturgis
What do you call a group of Harley Owners with a collective IQ of 120?
Sturgis!
How do Harley engineers tell if a bike is worthy of the Harley name?
They check to make sure the exhaust noise in decibels exceeds the horsepower rating.
Why don't Harley owners smile?
Once you realized you got conned into paying $25,000 for an outdated piece of $#!+ would YOU be smiling?
What's the difference between a Harley Davidson and a vacuum cleaner?
The location of the dirtbags.
Why do Harleys have fringe?
So you can tell if they're moving.
How do you know your Harley is handling great?
You can almost keep up with the logging trucks when you're riding in the
canyons.
How is a Harley Davidson like an old dog?
They both like to ride in the back of pickup trucks.
What is the difference between a Harley Davidson and an old dog?
The dog can get in the back of the pickup by itself.
Why couldn't the Harley mechanic repair the doorknob?
Some things just can't be fixed with only a hammer and a rope.
What's the difference between a Harley taken to Daytona on a trailer and one that's being ridden there?
The one on the trailer is going about 30mph faster.
Why do all Harley owners have trailers??
So they can go around corners faster!
You know you're a Harley rider if...
....you're unable to let your bike simply IDLE at a stop light.
....you confuse the word "character" with the more accurate term
"engineering flaws."
...."water cooled" means standing on the side of the road, in the rain, waiting for a your buddy to come in his pickup truck.
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