Bee Em Trouble You.

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"CONTACT: The Lord of the Dance (888) BIG-HEAD

ITALIAN TEAM CAPS MASSIVE EGO SPILL

By Ohlin Metzeler

MISANO, ITALIANO (VPI) In a stunning development that provided great relief to the surrounding communities, Max Biaggi and his Aprilia factory teammates managed to accomplish what many thought was technologically impossible: stop the massive flow of hubris that erupted from the BMW team when Troy Corser bumped the other racers off the top of the Superpole results on Saturday.

"You can't blame Corser for the mess of course," explained Weasley Ronald, SuperbikePlanet's Digital Odometer Tamperer and Part-Time Chief Arrogantologist. "The former World Champ's accidental bumping of the other competitors from the top of the order released the Ego, true, but he was just trying to do his job. Had the Emergency Blowout Modesty of the BMW team been installed correctly, the flow would have been just a sudden eruption of hugs and congratulations that would have been subdued in a few minutes."

Indeed. But like so many things in life when critical safeguards are either ignored or poorly designed, instead of the event slowing to a trickle the hubris flowed at a startling rate that was so intense that it threatened to completely engulf the Italian city with statements assaulting the national identity of the inhabitants. The indigenous population thrives on the beautiful, rich history of their cultural environment along with their outstanding racing legacy, and the Teutonic Taunting threatened not only the quality of their surroundings but the very health and livelihood of the region as well.

Fortunately, this unprecedented threat to these fine, proud people was curtailed as, is sometimes the case, the threat aroused heros who were spurred into action. This happened even as the locals started construction huge pasta barriers that, the theory goes, would stop the inundation of German Ego as the invading onslaught would be too busy eating delicious culinary creations to run off at the mouth all the time. As it turned out, the barriers were largely unnecessary as saviors came in the form of Max Biaggi and his engineers and tuners (incidentally that last group is not a pelagic fish-that would be tunas), who gallantly rolled up their sleeves and engineered a plan to curtail the flow and save the environment.

"They decided that in order to stop the advancing pollution of BMW hubris, they just had to beat them in the two Superbike races," said our man Weasley, while he rolled back the digital speedometer of a bright red press loaner using a battery tester, some duct tape, and a defective Wii controller. "It was a brilliant plan, perfectly executed, and in Race Two a sound drubbing definitely sealed the deal. In fairy tale terms, the village was saved and the sun came out. Mr. Biaggi and his V4 stopped the flow by putting the hubris in its place, or, in the words of Kenny Roberts, Hey Wolfgang, how's my exhaust taste?

Let us hope we have all learned from this experience, and take steps prevent such thoughtless environmental degradation in the future."

http://www.superbikeplanet.com/2010/Jun/100628ohlin.htm