Demerit System
In the world of romance, one single rule applies:
· Make the woman happy.
· Do something she likes and you get points.
· Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted.
· You don't get any points for doing something she expects.
· Sorry, that's the way the game is played.
Here is a guide to the point system:
SIMPLE DUTIES
· You make the bed (+1)
· You make the bed, but forget the decorative pillow (0)
· You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets (-1)
· You go out to buy her what she wants (+5) in the rain (+8)
· But return with Beer (-5)
· You check out a suspicious noise at night (+1)
· You check out a suspicious noise, and it is nothing (0)
· You check out a suspicious noise and it is something (+5)
· You pummel it with iron rod (+10)
· It's her pet (-20)
SOCIAL ENGAGEMENTS
· You stay by her side the entire party (0)
· You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with an old school friend (-2)
· Named Tina (-10)
· Tina is a dancer (-20)
· Tina has silicone implants (-80)
HER BIRTHDAY
· You take her out to dinner (+2)
· You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar (+3)
· Okay, it's a sports bar (-2)
· And it's all-you-can-eat night (-3)
· It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colours of your favourite team (-10)
A NIGHT OUT
· You take her to a movie (+1)
· You take her to a movie she likes (+3)
· You take her to a movie you hate (+6)
· You take her to a movie you like (-2)
· It's called 'Death Cop' (-3)
· You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans (-15)
YOUR PHYSIQUE
· You develop a noticeable potbelly (-15)
· You develop a noticeable potbelly and exercise to get rid of it (+10)
· You develop a noticeable potbelly and resort to baggy jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts (-30)
· You say, "It doesn't matter, you have one too." (-8000)
THE BIG QUESTION
· She asks, "Do I look fat?" (-5) (Yes, you lose points no matter what)
· You hesitate in responding (-10)
· You reply, "Where?" (-35)
· Any other response (-20)
COMMUNICATION
· When she wants to talk about a problem, you listen, displaying a concerned expression (0)
· You listen, for over 30 minutes (+50)
· You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV (+500)
· She realizes this is because you have fallen asleep (-4000)
