OzVMX Forum

Clubroom => General Discussion => Topic started by: Tim754 on April 01, 2013, 05:37:47 pm

Title: Stunningly stupid tips.
Post by: Tim754 on April 01, 2013, 05:37:47 pm
"I used to always put a dollop of < anti seize grease stuff> in me ring a ding scramble bikes tank, never ever seized it all in da paddock "  The dipshit was serious ,not an April Fools day Joke! ::)

Remember another forward thinker who put tooth paste in his cars tanks "to stop the bores glazing".  It appeared to work, no "glazed bores" when you change engines every 20000..

Title: Re: Stunningly stupid tips.
Post by: Tim754 on April 01, 2013, 05:46:56 pm
And the honourable ones that swore that putting "Slick 50" and other gibberish Teflon additives in the motorcycles oil was a godsend. Teflon on wet clutches..... :D

Helium in your racers tyres, got to be super smick as well we all know Helium is lighter than air.....
Title: Re: Stunningly stupid tips.
Post by: maxvmx on April 01, 2013, 06:18:09 pm
?
Title: Re: Stunningly stupid tips.
Post by: Tim754 on April 01, 2013, 06:43:52 pm
Just smatterings of mechanical ineptitude I have been subjected to, drums and fins.
Title: Re: Stunningly stupid tips.
Post by: brent j on April 01, 2013, 07:19:37 pm
If you are choking on an ice cube, drink boiling water, the ice will melt and you will be able to breath again
Title: Re: Stunningly stupid tips.
Post by: Graeme M on April 01, 2013, 08:53:42 pm
Briefly.  ;D
Title: Re: Stunningly stupid tips.
Post by: FAT-TOY on April 01, 2013, 10:14:42 pm
 

  My grandad always had  glass of Andrews Liver Salts every morning after breakfast he swore by it.  He lived till the ripe old age of 98 but sadly passed away last wednesday, yesterday my brother had to go down to the cemetery and beat grandads liver to death with a stick.
                                                      Zane   
Title: Re: Stunningly stupid tips.
Post by: brent j on April 01, 2013, 10:26:19 pm
True story

When I worked at the 4 wheel drive centre in NZ we had a guy who always ran different sized tires on each side of front and rear axles on his Land Rover. Same size tires on diagonally opposite corners ie 7.00x16 on LF & RR and 7.50x16 on RF & LR. He figured it allowed the smaller tire to spin more easily and saved breaking axles.

I don't know that it saved any axles but we sold him a few diffs............

Title: Re: Stunningly stupid tips.
Post by: Rookie#1 on April 01, 2013, 10:28:32 pm
 
 

  My grandad always had  glass of Andrews Liver Salts every morning after breakfast he swore by it.  He lived till the ripe old age of 98 but sadly passed away last wednesday, yesterday my brother had to go down to the cemetery and beat grandads liver to death with a stick.
                                                      Zane   

 :D :D :D :D :D.

Condolences, Brendan
Title: Re: Stunningly stupid tips.
Post by: brent j on April 01, 2013, 10:53:37 pm
When I was involved with Drag racing there was a young guy who wanted to build a quick street car.

He figured on saving power by not running the fan, water pump or alternator from the crank.
He wanted to run an electric motor driving the fan, water pump and alternator, the alternator would then charge the battery which would in turn power the motor driving the whole lot ad infinitum.

He could not understand why it would work, I told him if he could get it to work he would be the richest man in the world
Title: Re: Stunningly stupid tips.
Post by: lukeb1961 on April 08, 2013, 08:11:07 am
And the honourable ones that swore that putting "Slick 50" and other gibberish Teflon additives in the motorcycles oil was a godsend. Teflon on wet clutches..... :D

Helium in your racers tyres, got to be super smick as well we all know Helium is lighter than air.....
Helium bleeds straight through rubber. That was tried in the early '60s in the A12 spy 'plane by Lockheed. They ended up using nitrogen in the tyres simply because it would not explode from the heat generated at Mach 3.2.
Title: Re: Stunningly stupid tips.
Post by: shortshifter on April 08, 2013, 09:03:40 am
Fat Toy,that's gold :D Geez 98 hope its in the genes!
Title: Re: Stunningly stupid tips.
Post by: shorelinemc on April 08, 2013, 09:20:46 am
buy a motorcycle shop ;D
Title: Re: Stunningly stupid tips.
Post by: pancho on April 08, 2013, 09:23:58 am
buy a motorcycle shop ;D
;) ::)
Title: Re: Stunningly stupid tips.
Post by: pancho on April 08, 2013, 09:30:26 am
 Or a servo! ::)
Title: Re: Stunningly stupid tips.
Post by: shelpi on April 08, 2013, 09:59:33 am
dont worry about useing a tension wrench  :o just tighten up the nut until it strips then back it off half a turn ;)
Title: Re: Stunningly stupid tips.
Post by: marsman on April 08, 2013, 12:27:18 pm
Remember the pit nazi's of the 70's: Plug your handlebars kid; why? ; cause it does much less damage to the other guys intestines :o.
You can only have metal valve caps on your tubes ; why?; cause the plastic ones are a fire hazard ::);
You must have a split pin on your axel nuts: why?; cause we would much rather you gouge a leg , face our other appendage of yourself and other riders than see you lose your nuts and have your axel  just "fall" out without you knowing it!!...P.S. we do accept a safety pin instead of a split pin though :-\
And the daddy of them all... You must have square number plates ;why?;cause the lap scorers cant read round ones!!!....... must have better lap scorer's these days ... or are we just slow enough that they can read them now? ;D
Title: Re: Stunningly stupid tips.
Post by: firko on April 08, 2013, 12:35:21 pm
Quote
Remember the pit nazi's of the 70's: Plug your handlebars kid; why? ; cause it does much less damage to the other guys intestines .
You can only have metal valve caps on your tubes ; why?; cause the plastic ones are a fire hazard ;
You must have a split pin on your axel nuts: why?; cause we would much rather you gouge a leg , face our other appendage of yourself and other riders than see you lose your nuts and have your axel  just "fall" out without you knowing it!!...P.S. we do accept a safety pin instead of a split pin though
And the daddy of them all... You must have square number plates ;why?;cause the lap scorers cant read round ones!!!....... must have better lap scorer's these days ... or are we just slow enough that they can read them now

The tragic thing is that all of that stuff was absolutely true ::). I recall being busted for having plastic valve caps on my fork aircap schrader valves. He told me to take them off before he'd pass the bike, without any caps at all. I had one of my then infamous dummy spits with that prick that day let me tell ya ::)
Title: Re: Stunningly stupid tips.
Post by: John Orchard on April 08, 2013, 12:45:43 pm
I got busted because the original 3 holes in the front sprocket cover on my TM125L, you could just get your little finger in, I had to get washers braized over them.  I hope I don't become a stupid old fool.
Title: Re: Stunningly stupid tips.
Post by: David Lahey on April 08, 2013, 01:03:06 pm
During our teenage, a riding friend of mine decided to add powdered graphite to the oil tank on his Suzuki TC100 to improve the lubricating properties of the oil.
It took quite a while and a lot of sparkplugs to get rid of the last bit of graphite out of the system once he solved the problem that developed.
Title: Re: Stunningly stupid tips.
Post by: Graham on April 08, 2013, 02:51:53 pm
Great bit of advise by a loonitic,once told me the best way to run your new rebored engine in was to pour some brasso in the spark plug hole an rev the shit out of it.  Yeah right thats going to work
Title: Re: Stunningly stupid tips.
Post by: crash n bern on April 08, 2013, 02:55:03 pm
During our teenage, a riding friend of mine decided to add powdered graphite to the oil tank on his Suzuki TC100 to improve the lubricating properties of the oil.
It took quite a while and a lot of sparkplugs to get rid of the last bit of graphite out of the system once he solved the problem that developed.

One of my mates who was proud of his mechanical knowledge put a hotter plug in his TS100 so it would go faster.   He pulled up later that day with a holed piston.  He also supervised the tying down of the bikes on the trailer as he came from a trucking family.  It was his TS that fell on my TT500 scratching my mint tank.  I supervised the tying down for the trip home.
Title: Re: Stunningly stupid tips.
Post by: VMX60 on April 08, 2013, 04:34:50 pm
Remember the pit nazi's of the 70's

OH how about the leather pants only as the Nylon pants are not FLAMEPROOF Approved

Sold a whole heap without the label what a shitfight   >:(

Cheers
Title: Re: Stunningly stupid tips.
Post by: EML on April 08, 2013, 08:07:14 pm
Nylon pants and shirts were banned because they were a fire hazard.......I haven't seen a fire at a motocross anywhere in the world ever,not to say it couldn't happen, but I would like to be an insurer taking dollars against it .
The same stewards let them put hay bales on the turns......fire hazard...what fire hazard????
Title: Re: Stunningly stupid tips.
Post by: marsman on April 08, 2013, 08:29:10 pm
Anyone remember that stuff called finnelec :-[... instant puncture sealer and inflator all in one (thaks Mr. Bultaco ;)) ... what they didnt tell you was it was only good for a small "normal"punctures.
I found out the hard way ; when the sheer unbridaled power of my SL125 tore the valve stem from the tube (who ever thought of a rim lock ) , no amount of finne..f@#$k&% lec will patch it .... instead you just watch the foam gooo.... ooz from every spoke (and valve) hole covering your entire rear wheel . IT NEVER CAME OFF EITHER!  :'(
Title: Re: Stunningly stupid tips.
Post by: Viper79 on April 08, 2013, 08:41:10 pm
Anyone remember the "Trail & Track tricks" in the Trail & Track magazine?  There were some classics in amongst them....
Title: Re: Stunningly stupid tips.
Post by: Hoony on April 08, 2013, 09:11:30 pm
Anyone remember the "Trail & Track tricks" in the Trail & Track magazine?  There were some classics in amongst them....

yeah and some damn dorky stupid ones too.

like the following

:- making your own fork gators from old inner tube and hose clamps
:- making your own lower fork protectors with hot wheels track
:- add 50 more below  ::)


Title: Re: Stunningly stupid tips.
Post by: BAHNZY on April 08, 2013, 09:22:32 pm
I was one of the first rider/owners of the new generation Husaberg's in early 2000 where at the first race of the Victorian Regional championships my new FC501/4 was knocked back at scrutineering due to the pointed rear guard. The thinking from the steward was that it was dangerous to other riders. It took some convincing where I missed practice and almost the first race trying to get it across that if it was o/k for the world motocross circus it should be o/k for a C grade Victorian regional event.
Title: Re: Stunningly stupid tips.
Post by: 80-85 husky on April 08, 2013, 09:55:22 pm
Finnilec... The enduro riders spare tube... NOT. Saw a guy cartwheel his yz down a nasty hill at the Alpine enduro years ago... a crumpled mess (including the rider) ended up at the bottom where he extricated himself from the bike... he looked like something from the "Hobbit!" His  Finilec can, taped to the crossbrace  had exploded covering him and the bike with a "fungus"  :o hilarious :D :D, it was stuck to his nose and shoulders and helmet. the bike looked shocking with gravel stuck all over it. never liked it, never used after that episode. :D